Let’s just say, hypothetically, that you’re totally clueless about diamond ring terminology, but your girlfriend is expecting a ring, and has been waiting patiently for three years, six months, twelve days, and seven hours for you to get your act together and buy one already (GERRY). In this purely hypothetical situation, it’s completely understandable if, despite your advanced degree in chemistry (that took you three years longer than you said it would), you still feel confused about diamond engagement rings and jewelry in general. If this sounds like you (GERRY), then please read on.

“Setting.” A lakeside beach? A cafe in Paris? A dark and stormy night? Nope. A “setting” for a ring is pretty much everything that’s not the main diamond. The setting is the part that’s made of metal, though it can include a lot of smaller, accent diamonds set in a variety of different ways.

“Shoulders. Believe it or not, rings have shoulders. They’re the parts of the setting closest to the main stone on either side. With the exception of solitaire settings (deep breath, Gerry, we’ll get there), the shoulders of most rings are decorated.

“Solitaire.” Does this mean that some diamond engagement rings can play cards by themselves? No. That’s dumb. A “solitaire” is a really minimalistic kind of setting — pretty much just a solid metal band and a single diamond. They can sometimes be a little more ornate, but simplicity is usually the hallmark.

“The Four Cs.” Sailing for people too lazy to try for all seven Cs, perhaps? No, Gerry, and that’s a horrible pun. The Four Cs are the ways that diamonds are graded. They stand for Cut (or shape), Clarity (or how many imperfections are inside the stone), Color (graded on a scale from “colorless” to “kinda yellow”), and Carat (or weight).

“Halo.” Like what an angel wears, maybe? Gerry, would you please just stop it with the… oh wait, you actually got that one right. A halo is like a halo on an angel’s head, though the halo is made of tiny diamonds, and the angel’s head is actually the main stone of the ring.

Hopefully this makes you less clueless when it comes to looking at diamond engagement rings. See? It’s not such a daunting task, is it? So go out there and pick a good one! And pick up some milk on your way home. Research more here.